Love, Longing, and the Wisdom of Animal Totems

Recently, I experienced the end of a brief but meaningful relationship with a man who was preparing to leave Los Angeles and return to Germany. At first, I told myself I would move on easily. But as I began dating other people, I found my thoughts drifting back to him. One evening, after ending a date early because my thoughts were still preoccupied with this other man, I sat on my sofa in despair and predicament. I was not moving on. It was then that I suddenly had an intuitive vision of a seal.

Years earlier, I had purchased a Druid animal oracle deck that included a seal card. From what I could remember, the seal is the last card of the deck and the oracle text mentions the song of the seals stirring up human emotions of longing and mourning. I opened my phone and searched for recordings of seals. After listening to their "song," something tender and profound was stirred in me by their haunting and human-like cries. As the oracle describes it, the seal’s cry “is a call to us from the depths.” The card itself is associated with three words: love, longing, and dilemma – an uncanny reflection of the emotional state I found myself in.

Wanting, perhaps, to feel understood and supported in the midst of everything I was experiencing, I texted the man I had been dating a photo of the seal oracle card along with an explanation of what I was feeling. He responded the next morning, apologizing for any “havoc” he had caused in my life and said he thought the card was interesting. His message didn't help me move on, but after this exchange, I found myself wondering –a bit playfully –whether there might be another card in the deck that held a message more applicable for him. Almost immediately, the image of the Earth Dragon card flashed through my mind. I sent him a photo of the Earth Dragon card along with its accompanying text, and then decided that was enough divination for one day. I was on my way out to pick up my kids from their dad’s house, and I kept the exchanges with this man and the animal cards to myself for the rest of the day.

Later that night, as I lay in bed, I was still burdened by my feelings for him. All of a sudden, my 10-year-old son called out to me from the other room, “Mama!” I hurried into his bedroom to see if something was wrong, and in his sleep he said, “There needs to be a different animal.” 

I stood there stunned.

In his sleep, he had somehow tuned into what my dilemma was and even the specifics about the animal cards! I left his room filled with wonder, replaying his words over and over: a different animal. Lying awake, I asked myself which animal it could be. Almost immediately, the image of a dog came to mind. The dog is a loyal companion and friend, and there was a part of this message that felt comforting because this man and I had already discussed remaining friends.  Perhaps I should focus on accepting this new form of our connection. Yet, despite the comfort the message offered, my feelings for him still remained unresolved.

The following day, I sat down with my son and asked whether he remembered speaking those words to me in his sleep the night before. He paused for a moment and then exclaimed, “Oh!” as though he remembered. I explained to him that I had been dating a man who could no longer continue our relationship and that I had been feeling sad. I told him about my intuitive vision of a seal and what the seal totem represents in the Druid oracle. Although the seal brings up longing, its message is that we will not remain “imprisoned” on dry land forever, and that by welcoming our emotions, we will be released and swim through the waters again. I told him that I had to keep feeling my sadness, and trusting that I would swim free again one day. My son said, “I don’t want you to have the seal. I think you should have a bird. The raven.” His words piqued my curiosity. He then asked me what the raven represents. I told him that from my memory of the card, it brings “healing and initiation.” His face lit up and he said, “Yes! That one.”

After our conversation, I opened the oracle book to the raven. The raven symbolizes death and rebirth. As the oracle explains, “The power of the raven can also bring you the very deepest form of healing, which is achieved through a process known as ‘the resolution of the opposites,’ making it possible for you to resolve conflicts that have long lain buried in your unconscious or in the your past” (Philip & Stephanie Carr-Gomm, The Druid Animal Oracle Deck). When I read this oracle description, I understood intellectually that an emotional death and rebirth would be the ideal path through my heartbreak. Yet, in reality, I could not conceive of how this would occur. The raven is also said to offer the gift of prophecy. They are seen as messengers of higher insight. If that was true, I said out loud to the universe, then "bring me that gift." I prayed for clarity and the grace to see beyond the heartache I was currently feeling. 

That night, I had a dream. In the dream, certain truths revealed themselves that brought me into a more honest understanding of this man than I had allowed myself to see before. What once felt idealized suddenly appeared more flawed and complicated. The enchantment I had been holding onto began to disappear. By the time I awoke, something within me had shifted. 

For the first time since the heartbreak began, the illusion I had been clinging to finally lifted, and I found myself holding greater truth.

This experience taught me not to underestimate the power of prayer — especially in moments when my own understanding and resilience have reached their limit— and that, often, the answers we seek are already present within us, resting in the deeper layers of our unconscious. It also reminded me that sometimes, the universe carries us when our own strength can no longer do the work alone. Somehow, when I was unable to find clarity on my own, my son intervened and helped guide me forward. Sometimes the messages we need the most arrive through the most unexpected ways.

The Author